At this point of time, I feel so much like a bird held in its cage, reluctantly against its will. It's a Monday today and I suppose I should be in school. I think. I'm not exactly sure.

Oh heck, I'm awful at keeping track of things. |: Exam week is here and it's presumably the most stressful, hectic week a college student could possibly have in the semester. And yet, here I am, blogging, worrying only about not having enough time to sleep. Should I be concerned? Haha.

Anyway, throughout the entire day I've been confined in this teeny tiny room of mine, I've been urging myself to work on my mochi project. I mentioned it in my previous post and within the time span from when I posted that up till now, there has been absolutely no progress whatsoever. LOL.

I find it so easy to disappoint myself sometimes. It doesn't take much, really, cause I don't have much reason not to be. DEPRESSHION. HAHAHAHA. But, you know, it's the truth. I'm aware that I shouldn't be feeling down and that I have plenty other reasons to be all hippity-hoppity everywhere. Come to think of it, my reasons to be happy might even outweigh those of which are pro-depression. But there comes a time, not often but every once in a while, when you've got to just let yourself feel these things. Why? Because having to continually cheer yourself up is too tiring.

I hate how I can never feel much passion for anything. All my life, not once can I recall a time I could say that I am good at something because I have grown with it through passion. One thing I've long yearned for is just, passion, for anything. I'm passive, I always have been. And I'm through with it.

I'm all sorts of upset now.
Lately, I've lost so much of myself to my low self-esteem and this seemingly congenital need to please everybody.

I'll go have some cookies.
They've always had a quaintly magical effect on me.
I always feel better when I have cookies.
And since I'm trying to shed pounds, I shall get oat cookies.
Oh, the dietary goodness.

In my dire attempt to lighten up this post, read this.


Sometime in the near future, if someone were to plummet off a ladder or something, know that I shall be the first person to run on over there, fall on my knees and cry, "SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A BOWL OF NOTHING BUT BLUE M&M'S. NOW.".
Hahahaha.
Okay, haha. That was dreadful.